Ran-dumb Thoughts

Disclaimer:
The following are just stupid thoughts I have written down, some are supposed to be funny and some are just supposed to invoke thought. If you are easily offended, I suggest you stop reading this now. If you have absolutely no sense of humor stop reading this now and stick your head in the oven, but don't turn on the gas that would just be stupid.


Money is like a bowl of hot soup; if you don’t blow it, you can’t enjoy it right away.

Some get old and die while looking for the deeper meaning.

If you are not part of the solution, your kinda’ like most everybody really.

If I could do it all over, knowing what I know now, I would have never tried to light a fart!

Belief is like a hospital where people go when they are sick of thinking.

I got half a mind to …uh …umm to …uh what?

Cows have special powers; they can turn a bale of hay into a steaming pile of fertilizer and make milk while warming the planet! What the hell have you dung lately?

If it really takes one to know one, then you could only really know one, and that one is you!

It’s a good thing I got married, I would have never known what a fuck up I am.

Sometimes when I think real hard, I get a sharp pain in my head, so I don't do that much.

I have only one real complaint in life and that is; that some people are way too fragile!

Looking for an honest politician is like diving for chipmunks.

Believing in god makes you moral like; eating bologna sandwiches makes you left handed.

Dogs know how fucked up you are, cats know too, but they are not amused!

If I had a penny for every time I heard someone say “if I had a penny” ...well I guess I'd have a bunch of pennies then wouldn't I?

Income tax is proof that you can enslave a nation, without their consent, and they will be only too happy to let you do it!

If “whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” how would we even know that?

If the religious are good for god, does that means the rest of us are good for nothing?

What does a “crock of shit” sound like? ...and why am I the only one who doesn't know?

If you try to keep an open mind, don't be surprised by what pops in!

If at first you don't succeed, buy her another drink (make it a double).

I’ve been hoping someone would steal my identity, so I can have all my bills forwarded.

If your problem solving skills include “killin' sump'n”, you might be a dumb ass!

My life is like a high speed chase, I know it’s going to end in a horrific crash, but I’m afraid to pull over!

It may take a village to raise a child, but it only takes one child to raise a ruckus.

God had himself tortured and crucified to stop himself from sending me to hell! I don’t want to sound ungrateful but, what the fuck man? It just seems like there may have been an easier way!

I never judge people on the way they look. I may cringe and look away, but that's more of a gut reaction than a judgment.

I think my goldfish is depressed, I have to check the water levels every day to make sure he hasn't been crying.

When I was younger, I barely stood for anything, now I can barely stand anybody and some days, I can barely stand at all.

I wonder if anyone who died in the electric chair ever dreamed of being a great conductor.

If people think that they will be punished for all eternity for being evil, that’s a good thing. If they think they can be forgiven at the 11th hour, that’s a bad thing.

If you let someone treat you like they own you, they do.

According to the most recent surveys; most people don’t read the most recent surveys.

I was sad when I had no shoes until; I meet a man with no clue.

If I could only read one book; it would have to be a book about blankets, because that would pretty much cover everything.

Sometimes I wonder if man has I higher purpose, then I order pizza.

People should be proud of their bodies, unless they have more than one.

I know I’m not contagious, because most people don’t get me.

If people are in such a hurry, why do they waste so much time blowing their horns at me?

You should always try not to be too cavalier about fighting on horseback.

If we could just let our children come up with their own imaginary friends, the world would be a better place to live.

LawsThat Suck

      I wonder if a lot of atheists have lost their faith in their government as well. I find that since I started to question the notion of religion and the ludicrous powers it holds over the people of the world, I also find myself questioning what freedom really is. It upsets me to no end that even though I have no religion, I am still subject to the “laws of the religious” If all of the laws were there to protect our rights to our minds and bodies and our rights to own property legally acquired using our minds and or bodies. Then I would say that these are good laws. Laws that protect us from killing, cheating, lying and stealing. Of course cheating and lying are usually done in the name of stealing but, I digress.

      The laws that bother me are the laws based on popular opinion or laws that prohibit something because it is thought to be crude, immoral “bad for you “or distasteful. Laws like these have no place in a free society! You have no rights to my body, the government has no rights to my body, only I have rights to my own body. No one including the government should be able to tell me what I can or cannot do with my person. They may regulate some of the circumstances involving the choices I make that may put others in physical danger, but they should not be able to say that I am prohibited from doing something to myself, that physically harms no other.

      Let's talk about sex! Lots of people like sex! Sex has been around for as long as anybody can remember, and folks have been buying and selling it for just as long! Why can't I buy some sex? Well let's take a look at it from the freedom angle shall we?

The first questions we ask are :

Q: Would I be causing anyone any physical harm?
A: Nope, never have when it was free sex, so I'm guessing that there will be no casualties.

Q: Will the prostitute be causing any harm?
A: Only if I pay extra! ...but she may be spreading diseases! ...but I know the risks and she has a valid up to date sex workers STD health voucher, Issued by the county health department.

     No harm no fowl! No laws prohibiting the free exchange of sex for money should be passed. Laws that protect our children and the general public while preserving the rights of a citizen to do what they damn well please with their own bodies for whatever reason they wish would be justifiable. For instance youth protection laws that require proof of age and up to date heath STD health vouchers for anyone wishing to work in the sex industry.

What about taking drugs like marijuana, LSD, cocaine and opium.

The first questions we ask are :

Q: Would I be causing anyone any physical harm?
A: No, as long as I obey the laws against operating dangerous equipment while under the influence of a mind altering substance.

A: No, as long as I obey the laws that prohibit me from being the sole care giver to a minor child while under the influence of a specific class of mind altering substances.

      I could go on but it would get redundant The point is that anything that someone wants to do with their own bodies should be legal. If a situation comes up wherein “the public” (anyone not engage in the activity) is put in danger by a specific action then, laws should be passed, not to prohibit people from said activity but to insure public safety while accommodating the right to do what you wish with your own body.

      The laws that really piss me off are the ones that don't even try to hide the fact that they were created from religious belief or hysteria. The religious belief laws are like when you can't buy beer on Sunday or you can't open your store before noon on the Sunday. There is no reason for this law other than to discourage drinking and working on the Sabbath day of rest and worship! hysterical laws are just plain stupid! Let's just say that you are a security agent in an airport and you ask to look inside a persons carry-on. She smiles and says "yeah sure just put the bombs back where you found them", followed by a wink of her eye. Would you laugh and tell her that you never heard that one before and roll your eyes or would you call for backup and have her whisked away for interrogation? If you answered yes to the second part then you will make a fine TSA employee! It is against the law to make a joke about having a bomb in an airport, even if it is an obvious joke and the meaning cannot possibly be misconstrued as an actual threat. Your sense of humor is not appreciated and you will be arrested!

5(FIVE) companies own all the media in the USA.

Fear and Love

Love God:

Deuteronomy 6:5 (King James Version)

And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.

Matthew 22:37 (King James Version)

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

Fear God:

Deuteronomy 6:13 (King James Version)

Thou shalt fear the LORD thy God, and serve him, and shalt swear by his name.

Psalm 33:8 (King James Version)

Let all the earth fear the LORD: let all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of him.

There is no fear in love:

1 John 4:18 (King James Version)

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

Grilled Cheese Sandwich

The Harvest festival has been held in Hancock NY for the last 15 years and provides the visitor with a taste of real freedom. I [highly] recommend going if you get the chance. I still enjoyed it even at 50 years old.



I awoke to the smell of grilled cheese sandwiches. A new tent had popped up over night. A cute but some what grungy young woman was happily flipping the hot golden brown answers to my breakfast dilemma.
Dodging the peddlers along Shakedown ally, I made my way to the foot of a tree, just off the path, where I could see over the lake and down into the the business center of the new community. I ate the still warm sandwiches and drifted back to simpler times when the government had no say in the business of the people and no say over our bodies and minds. If you wanted to sell grilled cheese sandwiches from your front porch you just hung a sign and started cooking. Today you would have to apply for a vending license and have your food preparation equipment inspected and approved. Then you need to get the proper zoning to be allowed to run a business out of your home and you would be forced to carry a certain amount of Insurance (in cases you get some bad cheese and someone sues you for making them sick!) You would have to file a DBA form to register your business with the government, who will want there cut of your hard earned money!
All for a fucking grilled cheese sandwich!

Makes Perfect Sense

We are all full of sin and need forgiveness from God.
God died as a sacrificial scapegoat to appease God.
God excepts the sacrifice of God as an atonement.
God declares; that if you except this sacrifice, he will not torture you for all of eternity.
Yeah OK what ever. I except!

Religion the Hypothesis that Wouldn't Die

If religion is simply a hypothesis that's so full of holes it's absorbent! Why does it persist?
I think it's because people naturally think they are special. The instinct for self preservation is the mother of self importance without the feeling of self importance, there would be no self preservation. Being in possession of a rather large brain and evolving into the number one apex predator can make you a little smug too, but that large brain had only begun to scratch the surface when the big questions came up; what makes the sun hot, why is the sky blue in the day? and black with white dots at night?,why am I here?, where did I come from? and where do I go when I die? The large brain didn't even know that it was alone. None of the other brains could think the way it did. That big brain was special and it slowly began to wonder why; why was it at the top of the food chain, using tools that no others could fashion? The big brain went on to do wonderful things and archived greatness as it took over and claimed the world as it's own. It found nothing to explain where it came from in the natural world but, there was another world. The world of dreams, while the brain was at rest it seemed to enter a different realm, a spirit world not governed by any earthly limitations. The brain hypothesized that some unseen spirits were at work and started to use this catch-all to explain everything that it had no explanation for. The spirits got more and more sophisticated as time went on and evolved into gods. Great and powerful gods who watch over us and punish us when we are bad.
Old gods were abandoned as needed as the brains started to figure out how thing really worked and new gods took there places. New gods that better fit the times. New gods that better fit the new world views. But now we only have a few unanswered questions and they are the big ones; why am I here, where did I come from and where do I go when I die? In our egos we are the most important species on the planet. We seem to have been put in charge. We must be special! The brain thinks it is special and cannot fathom death to nothingness simply because it is alive and thinking. Therefore it clings to an the hope of an afterlife. There is no proof of an afterlife but, the brain needs to feel that it will go on because, it can never know any other condition.
All is not hopeless though; the brain is evolving and so are the gods. I think the gods will go extinct first.

Goverment documented proof, that the USA was not founded as a Christian nation

I'm sure many people have heard of this document but, I decided to through up a link anyway just to be sure. If you click on this excerpt you can see this document in it's entirety, on a Government web site.

Intelligents of The Gods

My question is; why do omnipotent beings always choose to speak to one or two people at a time? They pass the most vital “rules and regulations” off to a single person who must disseminate this high priority information to the best of their ability! This makes absolutely no sense. If a lowly creature such as humans can invent “mass media” why do all the gods seem to lack the ability? We all know that a story will change from teller to teller. This has been proven time and time again, if we do not agree on this simple fact, (get an education, start here: Google search "stories change from teller to teller"). Given that an all knowing being would know that stories change from person to person and that the message would change, why do they not speak to us all at one time? Imagine the impact that would have! “Wow dude did you hear that?” “Yeah man! My sister called from California, she heard it too!” “I must have asked a hundred people, they all heard it! The news channels are saying its worldwide! Everybody on the planet heard it!” “GOD IS REAL!” sadly this is not to be.

What assumptions can be made from this?

· Humans are smarter than the gods.

· The gods are Idiots.

· The messages are not really important.

· The gods do not care if everyone gets the message (or even the right message)

· The messages are not really from an all-powerful, all-knowing deity

· Gods are not all-powerful.

· Gods like to pick people out and give them impossible tasks.

· The people that say they have heard from gods are lying (or delusional).

· Gods do not exist.

I’m not saying any point is right or wrong. I’m just saying that if I was one of the thousands of gods who have been competing for the adoration of the lovely little humans, I would make myself stand out by talking to them all at once! Then I alone would be their one true GOD! muuuwaahahaha! “Cuz that’s how I roll!” Imagine “me” the smartest god of all! <;P

I Breath Alone

Under bright lights I breath alone, and naked. The future is about me. I begin to acquire intangible bits of make believe. I cling to the draperies of my own existence, in denial of my pending doom. I am for for now in the course of a blink, a wisp in passing. Shh! If I hide under the covers, no one can see me.